The Economic Stimulus

[E7]

The Economic Stimulus

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive another economic stimulus.
It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart , the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, t he money will go to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan , or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

And this is why we can't have nice things.........

[robert.]

#5. tattoos. It was mentioned on the news. " american red cross has lifted restrictions on people with tattoos". They can now donate blood with out a one year waiting period. Previously you could not give blood if you were tattooed in the last 365 days.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

So relieved.

[healey36]

First, it should rightly be called "Economic Stabilization". There' nothing stimulative here, it's all about attempting to preserve the skeletal structure of the economy.

Second, the notion that this money is coming from the taxpayers is nonsense. While McConnell and his ilk may characterize this as a deficit-busting disaster (although curiosly I haven't heard him say it), the lion's share of this effort by the government will come through a bond buying/retirement exercise executed by the Federal Reserve (they refer to it as QE, or quantitative easing). And where will they get the money? They'll have the Treasury print it. Just as in 2008, they are going to flood the markets with newly minted cash.

It's the one lesson we learned from the mistakes of 1930...you can't have a recovery without a lot of cash washing around.

[v8vega]

Biggest boon to drug dealers, pot shops and liquor stores

[HONDO74]

The Economic Stimulus


(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

Maybe we will see those prostitutes standing on the corner with a sign. "Will Work for Food or Take Me Out to the Ballgame"

The downside to this is you will not only get the virus you get HIV also.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

The Economic Stimulus


(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

Maybe we will see those prostitutes standing on the corner with a sign. "Will Work for Food or Take Me Out to the Ballgame"

The downside to this is you will not only get the virus you get HIV also.

That almost makes...........no, it doesn't.

[robert.]

Here is my take on a stimulus package. It is cheaper then civil unrest.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

Here is my take on a stimulus package. It is cheaper then civil unrest.

Let them eat cake!

[robert.]

No sugar left in the stores. Local stores are starting to limit. How many people can be inside. Including employees.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

No sugar left in the stores. Local stores are starting to limit. How many people can be inside. Including employees.

Actually, we had sugar on the shelves last time I was at the store; what was absent was flour and eggs.

Costco was limited numbers 2 weeks ago. I might hit the store for produce tomorrow......

[healey36]

I'm so done with the media. I see now they are talking up the potential for mass food shortages. Tomorrow the shelves will be bare.

[robert.]

We could try reporter fricassee. . Stores here have a ton of eggs. No butter to be had. Also noticed Easter candy is not moving off the shelves

[Rufus T. Firefly]

I'm so done with the media. I see now they are talking up the potential for mass food shortages. Tomorrow the shelves will be bare.

While that may prompt yet another stampede, it's something that's been at the back of my mind for a week or 2 now. The entire food chain is probably already a mess.

Also noticed Easter candy is not moving off the shelves

Well, Easter eggs and all that is about to get cancelled anyway........