Hobo Jungle

[Will]

Bos,

I'm going to pass on the drink tomorrow. About a two hour drive for me- a little far for a drink with my schedule these days.

If you meet, hoist one for me, though.

[Tramp]

Bout friggin time Marty bought some 3rd Rail. Glad the see the lad is coming up to speed.

[Del Mar]

TIOGA-NICETOWN - May 17, 2006 - A Philadelphia man is recovering from an attack, allegedly at the hands of his wife. The assault on his private parts has become public knowledge. In an interview with Action News after his release from, the 52-year-old victim spoke of his terrifying ordeal.
The 52-year-old Tioga-Nicetown man, who we are identifying only by his first name of Howard, arrived home late Wednesday, hours after his wife allegedly tore off two parts of his genitalia with her bare hands. Surgeons at Einstein successfully managed to repair the damage.

Howard/Tioga-Nicetown: "Doctors did a beautiful job in E.R. and the paramedics did a wonderful job, they only took 4 minutes to get here."

Howard says his 40-year-old wife Monica, who he says is bi-polar, somehow conceived the notion that he was cheating on her. So while he was asleep last night, she attacked him.

Howard: "I mean she just grabbed me all down there and yanking and yanking and tearing me up with those fingernails."

Police and paramedics rushed to the man's row home in the 3800 block of Pulaski where they found him bleeding profusely. He was rushed to Einstein where doctors first labeled his condition critical. He was later upgraded to stable after having reattachment surgery and a few doses of morphine. Howard still cannot believe his wife of 11 years would allegedly do this him.

Howard: "I can see doing something like that to a rapist, or mugger but not a husband, not something like..."

Dann: "She thought that you were cheating on her?"

Howard: "I wasn't cheating on nobody, I'm home in bed at 8' 0 clock every night, I mean I'm not out there messing around."

Brian Lawson/neighbor: "I mean men cringing when they hear the story, I mean uh, I'm just cringing thinking about it."

Antoinette Fortune/Neighbor: "Who would wanna do something like that?"

Unidentified Neighbor: "That's kinda nasty. That's drastic isn't it? He's lucky to be alive."

Some neighbors say Howard's had problems with his wife before and has thrown her out only to let her back in. They worry what'll happen next.

Dann Cuellar: "Howard, you're not gonna let her back in here are you?"

Howard: "Oh no, no, no. She's in jail where she belongs."

At one point, Howard's wife Monica was facing attempted murder charges but now, the D.A.'s office has asked that a psychiatric evaluation be performed before any charges are filed.

(Copyright 2006 by Action News. All Rights Reserved.)

Be scared. Be very scared.

San

[P&R Pete]

That's why I hide the magnifying glass at night.

[hev52]

Damn, I better git one of them fryin' pan's off Jon and strap it over my privates

hev

[2railjon]

YIKES!!! And I thought the Bobbit story could'nt be topped!!!!

[Tramp]

A call came into my machine tonight. Jon and Pete, drunk as lords. I heard the sounds of squealing (maybe young) women. It was awful to hear what can happen to two normally reasonable hobos when they get together and alcohol is mixed into the equation. Horrors! Alas, be glad they don't have your number.

[P&R Pete]

Hey San, what's your number?

[Del Mar]

Sent you a PM, Petey. Although I doubt if you guys can see.

Tomorrows topic: hangover cures.

San

[P&R Pete]

Yes, the first annual(?) MTJ hobo convention!

Don't forget Hev! His arm's bigger than my thigh!



Don't remember much of NOTHING, so I guess it was a good convention, and I'm pretty sure we never called Tramp, and there wuz no young pretty squealing friendly scantily-clad women either, peeking out from behind them hobos. I mean it.

[P&R Pete]

time to go try to find my bed.
Pretty sure I left it around here sumwheres...

[2railjon]

That was the highlight of my trip!!!!! Thanks Pete, Hev, and wife for a splendid time!!! Train-talk, brew, and cute barmaids!!!!!!! It was like sitting down at the table with family!! I pretty sure Hev's mom-in-law out drank us all!!
Plus I left with a bag of Pennsylvania pastries and after Pete gave me an official ride back to the barracks in the Escort(TM), he slipped a fine NYC lantern my way!!!!! Thanks again you guys!!!

[Tramp]

Does the phrase "Let's rumble the OGR forum" come to mind. What a crew. And when you consider Hev is 6' 1" it puts it all in perspective. But what are you guys drinking? Dark beer?

“Garland,” she said. “Why don’t you have a beer or something?”
Sammy took the whole thing in, seemed barely to keep from cracking up.
Garland ordered the same as Mary. “Glad you’re not drinking that dark micro stuff. Tried one the other day. Just asked for a draft and that’s what they give me. I tell you what, I gave it right back to ‘em.”
Sammy placed a beer in front of Garland. He drained it in one pull, thumped the glass down on the Formica. “This city stuff makes me thirsty. Again, Mary too.”

[2railjon]

Tramp, I believe Pete was drinking Labatt's draft along with Hev's wife, while Hev, his mom-in-law, and I were indulging in pint after pint of Yuengling draft. I'm not in the best shape for my test this morning!!!!
And just a note: If you ever have the privilage to catch a ride in Pete's Escort(TM), heed the warning on the glovebox cover:

Warning: Do not attempt to open passenger window when speeds are exceeding 150 MPH

[Daisy]

Oh My GoD! cArefull! I about passed out looking at that photo! That's a lot of flesh. Who's that six foot tall girl behind you? Why does she look kind of float? I mean flat? How many beers can that much flesh DRINK? Who won the arm wrestling match? My God.

ps. San, what's your phone number? Didn't know it was that easy.